Another winter has passed

If you are asking yourself if you sometimes are crossing my mind.
Then yes. Always.

I need you.
I have lost all controll.
Need some guidense.
But I can't call. Can't write.
I can't communicate to you in any way.
Why? Well, it's complicated.

I don't want you near.
I just want you to see me.
Know me.
Look at me.
To tell me that everything is going to be fine.
That I have made the right choise.

Everybody thinks I'm so strong.
But the truth is hidden.
I feel I'm soon gonna burst.
Want to talk to you. Want for you to care. To love.
But days, months and even years go and I'm stuck at the same spot.
What's the difference if I move from place to place if I'm still in the same black spot.
It's your fault.
I run from place to place, just so I don't have time to feel. To get involved.
In every relationship I have had I felt like I'm been chained up to a corner. After a while I stop breathing.

Every winter I wait for The Call.
The call were they tell me your dead.
Guess you made it through this time as well.
But I will ceep on waiting.
I need closure.
And I don't think I can get that, knowing your still out there.
People may think I'm cruel.
But they don't know.

Did you ever thought you would get caught?
Well, you did.